Expanding my Family

Another Year in Review...

2012-01-13T06:23:00.000-08:00

2011 certainly did not disappoint!
-We started the year with sending our dossier to Colombia, which was a big step and a huge relief! It took 6 months (half the year) until we heard that we were approved for 2 siblings 0-4 yrs. So now we wait...
-We set a a few big projects to work on throughout the years to ready our home for a family of 6 and have accomplished a few of them. One being we finished our very large basement! We were under construction for 4 months, but it is finally complete and ready for 4 children to run and play and grow. We also added a large deck off the back which pretty much finishes up the final touches of our home which we built and moved into 3 1/2 yrs ago. As our boys continue to grow we realized we needed one more thing in our backyard that every parent will contemplate at some point or another...a swing set! So we set out on an adventure to find the perfect swing set that would not only accommodate many children but also grow with them. We are proud to say after a lot of sweat and equity we have a swing set! Our last project was the combined masterful planning for my obsession with organization and Charlie's compulsion with building and playing with tools; cubbies! Yes, Charlie built me 6 large individual cubbies! Big enough for us and 4 full grown children! He amazes me everyday with his ability to design and build things. I am truly blessed to have this man as my husband.
-Just a quick note that we still have one more big project, adding a bathroom!
-We got back in shape this year too! I have always been in love with food and been very active working out, but after 2 babies in 1 1/2 years I lost my mojo. I am happy to say that I lost 10 lbs this year and got my body back! I have found time to exercise again and have started to feel remnants of my pre child self.
Now that we are 6 months into our wait I can say I still feel as if it is forever away that we will meet our children. We talk about them often, are they born, are they being held and loved, are they being provided for, will they be boys or girls? Sometimes it is hard when I see people around me getting pregnant and having babies knowing I no longer have that option. Then I realize that I did have that option and try to be grateful for that, but a little part of me will forever mourn. It is wild how this life we live throws us so many curve balls and it is up to us to have the tenacity to navigate them. Charlie and I had a vision to have a large family and I can say I never thought we would be heading down the path we are now. BUT and that is a big BUT I am soooo very excited for this journey! The path that I have traveled down was truly meant for me in so many ways. I am a forever changed person. I have traveled many paths and experienced many more things that I would ever have thought possible. I have really looked at the world and the people around me differently. I have become a better wife, mother, and person all because of Colombia. So as the years go by I will continue to reflect on my life, how it has changed, and how it will change. I will continue to prepare to become a mother of trans racial children and biological children at the same time and I will continue with every ounce of me to strengthen my marriage through this process. So as we head into 2012 my hope is that it is a quite year. We have no big plans, but to just be. To reflect on the crazy few years we have had ranging from a miscarriage, building a home and moving, having 2 children in 18 months, realizing we can't have any more children, a big career move for me, and this amazing journey to adoption. It has been a tremulous few years filled with grief and happiness. I can say 2012 has brought a big sigh of relief. I feel as if I have run a marathon and now it is all about maintenance. This is the year I hope to just chill out and see what happens. Happy New Year!!!

Thoughts

2011-12-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

Well it has been awhile since I posted and I can say not too much is going on. We completed our updated home study and are getting ready to send in our I800A extension. Seems like yesterday we were just doing this. It has been about 5 months since we were approved and I can't believe how fast time goes. With that being said I feel as if we have not progressed at all. I am still quoting a 3 year wait to people and look forward to eventually saying 2 1/2.
As far as life goes we are just trucking along. Working on projects to prepare our home for 4 children. Charlie just built cubbies for 6 because his wife (me) is obsessed with organization. Pictures will follow later. We have been trying to come up with a financial plan to travel to Colombia and take time off from work. Having survived 2 unexpected 4 month maternity leaves from work we understand the financial impact so this time we are trying to get way ahead of ourselves.
I m loving this Christmas season! Mainly because my 4 yr old really gets it this year so we are having lots of fun!
Well not much more to say. The year is coming to an end and shortly I will be doing my yearly recap and looking forward to what next year will bring...... Feliz Navidad!

ICBF Wait List

2011-10-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

This is the newest updated wait list for ICBF. Our dossier was approved July 2011 so as you can see the wait is over 3 years. Hopefully there will be more and more movement as time goes on.

Age of Child ------- Date of Application Approval by ICBF

Child 0-12 months ------ Dec - 2007

Child 13 - 23 months ---- Dec - 2007

Child 2 years ----------- Jun - 2007

Child 2 - 3 years -------- May - 2007

Child 3 years ----------- Dec - 2007

Child 3 - 4 years -------- Dec - 2007

Child 4 years ----------- NOT LISTED ON NEW FORM

Child 4 -5 years -------- Jan - 2009

Child 5 years ----------- Oct - 2009

Child 5 - 6 years ------- Oct - 2009

Child 6 years ----------- NOT LISTED ON FORM

Child 7 years ----------- Jul - 2011

2 Siblings 0 - 4 years --- Apr - 2008

2 Siblings 0 - 5 years --- Feb - 2008

2 Siblings 0 - 6 years --- Sep - 2009

2 Siblings 0 - 7 years --- Feb - 2010

2 Siblings 0 - 8 years --- Feb - 2010

Fall Update

2011-10-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well not much going on here, just the usual daily grind....
We are in the process of updating our homestudy. Yup, been a year already! Time sure does go by fast.
We have been talking about learning Spanish a lot. Blahhh! I am starting to dread the process of home schooling myself, but this is a must. We gave ourselves until January to start and it looks like Rosetta Stone has won.
We are potty training Anthony which I must say is the one thing about parenting I dislike. It is a must and the end result is great, but the in between is brutal.
In the midst of this Anthony has been waking up multiple times a night the majority of nights which has made Charlie and I very tired and a little bit cranky. But we are making it and the mornings we are tired and cranky we laugh about wanting 2 more children. I always have to remind myself that we are not bringing them home today. However, I am making mental notes of where we are with Chase and Anthony now because this is the age range we are approved for.
Chase celebrated his 4th birthday. I am stating to get a feel for the age range we are approved for with Colombia. Some days I want 2 4 yr olds and others 2 1 yrs olds. Some days 2 boys and others 2 girls. I really feel it is all in God's hands. However, I do wonder if one or both of my children are born? How is their birth mother doing? Are they being held and loved? Every day I look at my boys and hold and love them. Amazing how little we appreciate the world we were born into when it is good and how scared we can become if it is bad.
Anyways, I have made an internal pack with myself to not wish life away. Living in West Virginia we tend to talk about the upcoming winter with gloom and doom and can't wait for it to end. In adoption we spend so much time trying to fill our time with preparation hoping the referal will come that much sooner. But life is a beautiful thing and so is youth. So I am going to try my hardest to enjoy this time in my life, enbrace winter, hold and love my children (and my husband and maybe my dog :)), and learn Spanish!

Chase's 4th birthday party. It was a WVU Football game day and of course we always TRY to get Rosco in the picture too!

Learning Spanish???

2011-09-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

So we are now in the process of thinking we will learn to speak Spanish. I realize this is a huge undertaking and must say I am not sure I am up to it. After 8 years of college I thought my learning days were over. Continuing Education here and there sure, but a new language; I hope I can do it? So I purchased Little Pima for the boys and we had our first lesson last night. This will be our Monday (or Tuesday) night routine for a few months to see how it is going. Since Chase is about 4 and Anthony is 2 we felt this was a great time to start with the basics for them and maybe Charlie and I will pick up on some things too before we start some form of formal learning. Rosetta Stone??? I must say it is a bit overwhelming, but I don't want to put it off since 3 years will fly by if I put it off. So here goes and we will see how well it goes!

Approval!!!!!!!!

2011-08-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Every day I have been thinking about the call and checking my phone and finally yesterday we got "the call!" My heart was still when I heard it was Nichole, but when she said we were approved words cannot describe the relief. I kept wondering if I would be out and about or at work, but it turns out I was at home with my boys and my 2 cousins who were visiting from Arkansa. It was my one cousin's 14th birthday so we had just baked a cake and were hanging out waiting for it to be done and the phone rang. I immediately hung up and called Charlie at work. We had a busy night, but later when it was just Charlie and I we were able to toast this hurdle we just leaped and talk about what the years to come will bring. It finally feels real and for the first time I feel a tangible timeline for this process. We are so very excited to be officially waiting and understand the hardships of the years to come, but for this time we are going to relish in this step! Here we go..............................

Beach Trip

2011-07-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Waiting!!!

2011-07-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

Feel like I am going a little nuts waiting for the phone to ring about our approval or non approval. Going on vacation in 4 days and had really hoped we would hear before that. Not knowing is the worst! Waiting may trump that!!!

Getting Anxious

2011-06-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well it has been at over 4 months since we sent our dossier to Colombia and over a year since we started this crazy adventure. I must admit I am getting anxious to hear back. We are going on vacation in July and I just hope I know something by then. AND I really am praying that we don't start updating our homestudy before we are approved to wait!
Anyways, I was at church this morning and a little boy was being baptised. It got me wondering if our future children will be baptized? Colombia is predominately Catholic as are we so I would almost assume that they would be? I wonder if this will be a question that is on my mind when we go to Colombia to bring our children home or if my mind will be swirling with so many other things.
Just a random thought and I am sure I will have many more.... I won't even start on the dental histories yet! I try not to allow myself to go there. LOL!

Irish Blessing

2011-05-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

I spent 10 summers going to a church camp in the hills of West Virginia called Peterkin. I started going around the age of 9 and last attended after my freshman year in college as a counselor at 19 yrs old. Peterkin is a part of me and everyone who has ever experienced it. An old friend posted this song on Facebook last night and it brought back so many of those memories. Singing the Irish Blessing is a Peterkin tradition and one I have brought into my own home. This is the song I sing to my children at bedtime. Fran Mckendrie spent a week at the camp as the music director and introduced this wonderful version of the Irish Blessing to me. I wanted to share it with my fellow bloggers. And until we meet again may God hold you...

Planning and Waiting...

2011-05-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I have had a lot of "what is going on with the adoption process" lately and the answer is nothing... We are waiting to hear from Colombia to see if we have been approved to wait or if they need more information. We are expecting to hear something by August. So in the meantime I have been trying to not focus so much on it since the previous months of preparing our dossier were spent with our heads deeply engrossed in adoption and Colombia. I must say this is a very difficult time; the waiting. I will feel better once we can officially count down years and months, but for now I really just want to know that we are approved.
However, we have been busy planning our wait.
1.We just recently finished our basement, an extra 1200 square feet of living space in our house. Yes, we are preparing for not only 4 children in our house, but eventually 4 full grown children!
2 .We also purchased a good swing set to accommodate 4 children under 8 or 9.
3. We are starting to think about the right time to take Chase and Anthony to Disney World.
4. We realized we need only one new car to accommodate our expanded family.
5. And we are trying to figure out when the best time to add a bathroom onto our house will be.
6. Not to mention save for the big trip to Colombia.
7. Starting in January we will begin Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish. And I am exploring my option on how and when to start home schooling Spanish to Chase and Anthony. Any ideas from anyone out there would be helpful!
So you see, even though I have not been blogging Charlie and I have been very busy talking and planning.
I was starting to feel the weight of the wait on me not too long ago and someone said something to me that made me feel better. She told me although it is a long couple of years it is for the rest of my life. Sometimes perspective is all I need and I am off to living again.
So for now we will continue our wait to see if we are officially waiting and hopefully sometime soon we can update and title to "Officially Waiting!"

Wow, how time flies!!!

2011-03-23T11:55:00.000-07:00

Anthony's 1st Birthday

Chase's 3rd Birthday

Anthony's 2nd Birthday

Wow it is hard to believe it has been 2 years since my baby was born! Time really does fly. All I can think about is how fast these past few years have gone and even though we have many more waiting years left before our family expands I know time will fly. I have made a promise to myself to not dwell too much on the waiting, but to live and enjoy the precious gift of family that is right in front of me. It is funny to think back to Anthony's first birthday and we hadn't even begun our adoption journey and now a year later here we are waiting to hear from Colombia if they will approve us to be on the official wait list. Time really does go by fast!

Dossier on it's way!!!

2011-01-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

Our dossier is officially on it's way to Colombia!!! I received final word on Monday, my birthday that it was in the mail. Now it will be sent to be translated and then to ICBF. We should hear in 5-6 months if we are officially on the wait list or that ICBF needs more information from us (hopefully not). We have heard that ICBF is making some changes to paperwork needed for dossier submission so we are praying this will not slow the process even more. I must say it is nice to be able to take a breather from the paper chase. Charlie and I have decided to spend the next 6 months doing nothing for the adoption; that is unless we have to. It has been a crazy ride up until this point and we feel we need to get back to living life in the present instead of focusing so much on our future. Adoption is a crazy process filled with so many emotions. You end up spending a lot of time in the future and I believe it is good to just remember to remind yourself to live in the present. God has a plan and it will play out regardless of how much I focus on it.

A Year in Review!

2011-01-05T11:42:00.000-08:00

I always like to end my year in a review. Charlie and I tend to have a moment and talk about all that has happened and all that we look forward to. I realize this has become sort of a tradition. This year we were fortunate enough to have our old nanny practically beg us to watch Chase and Anthony on New Years Eve so we could go on a date. (Notice I say "date" and not "dinner" because we feel if you label it as a date it feels much more special. Remember all the semantics you learn about in Hauge training!) To sum it up we had 2 course altering decision happen this year......
1. I made a huge career move and left my friends and colleges whom I had been with for 5 years to finally go into private practice with my father. To many this was a no brainer, but to me I had to decide the course of my career. My father needed to start to faze out, even if it takes years it was time, and I needed more control of how and when I wanted to practice. For those of you that don't know; I am a dentist! Although the decision was made in 2009, the transition took place in 2010. I had to give a 90 day notice to my previous employer and transition to a practice that has been souly owned and run by my father for 30 years (Start date was Aug. 1, 2010). Now I have more control over my schedule and only work 3 days per week! WOW it was a big decision!
2. I started the year off trying to allow myself to be open and honest with how I was feeling with my family of 4. I tried to be OK with it and really gave it my all, but at some point it was just never going to be enough. I prayed a lot and Charlie and I spent many hours talking and discussing our family. Looking back this was all part of our grieving process of not being able to have any more children on our own. We had meet a wonderful nurse during our childbirth experiences. She has always wanted to be a surrogate and I did spend time talking to her and researching that option. It just never felt right. I now realize her role in my life was to let me explore that option and she is really and truly an amazing person. In April we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and over dinner again discussed having more children. Charlie keep mentioning adoption and it was on our "date" I realized this was our path. I came home and started looking into it. Nothing felt right. One day I came across Colombia and sibling adoption through CHI and I remember watching the webinar and crying through it. I was bursting at the seams to tell Charlie when he got home that "this was it!" To make a long story just a little shorter I could barely wait to sit down to dinner to tell him all about what I had learned.... He said "OK Lets do it" and the rest is stated on this blog.
So 2010 ended with our dossier almost ready for Colombia and a huge career move for me! I look forward to 2011 being the year we start our official wait for our children!
Oh, by the way we received our I-797 (Approval from the US) and it is on it's way to be apostilled. We are hoping to have our dossier on it's way in the next few weeks!!!!!

Advocacy

2010-12-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

We had our biometrics appointment, aka fingerprinting. We are now completely plugged into the system so we better not do anything illegal! LOL!
Today at church I found myself praying about our children. I realized that one may already be born or at the least in utero. I started thinking about the birth mother and if she realized that someday another women would be raising her children or is she going to desperately try to hang on until she can't anymore. See, this is my journey to expand my family, but I wonder how her journey will unfold? God has a plan. That has always been one of my favorite sayings and I now realize that somehow he has created two women; one to bear the children and the other to raise them as her own. I find myself praying for her that she has the strength for her journey.
I am an international adoption advocate! I am not real sure when this happened, but somewhere along the way I realized I stopped telling people about our journey, and started telling them about how eye opening this has been. People are raising awareness in all different ways, but most it seems from benefits and fundraisers. Charlie and I talked about this and feel we are blessed and would not feel comfortable taking donations. So, I will continue to ponder how I am going to advocate? For now I will pray for our children and all children out there waiting.

Trying to be creative...

2010-12-01T18:37:00.001-08:00

OK so you have noticed... I am trying to change the design of my blog. I realize I am not a computer wiz so if it keeps changing, bear with me. Also, I appreciate any comments or suggestions... Thanks!!!

USCIS Biometrics Appointment!!!

2010-11-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

Today I got word that Nichole, our CHI rep received our ALMOST complete dossier! That made me feel better, lots of hard work in the hands of USPS.
Then, I got home and received our USCIS biometrics appointment. It is Friday Dec. 10th which works out perfectly for us! Once that is complete we will just wait for the I-797. From what I hear it may only take a couple of weeks to get back. That is of course if they don't ask for any more information and everything goes smoothly.
What a wonderful start to the new year if we could have our dossier off to Colombia!
USCIS = United States Citizenship and Immigration Services

Thoughts...

2010-11-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

We have been talking openly about our adoption process lately. I have found that people just do not understand and it is really a difficult process to explain especially to people who really are not that interested. How do you explain that yes, we will be waiting for 3 years and no, we are not on the wait list yet. The time line is hard to grasp. I did run into a women who has adopted 2 children recently and she gave me some encouragement... she said we are doing ultimate family planning. I like thinking that way. What most people don't understand is that we really do want the 3 year wait. Am I going to like it, NO! But we need it in order to maintain birth order with our children. Chase and Anthony will be 6 and 1/2 and 5 probably around the time we get a referral. There is a reason we have started this crazy journey now.
I have been running into people lately with wild reactions to the idea of 4 children. Charlie and I talk all the time about how much fun 4 will be and how hard 4 will be. I had a recent comment and it made me laugh it said "crazy loves company!" I suppose we do!
Well, at this point we are waiting on our I800A fingerprint appointment which we hope comes soon. I have everything, but the I797 (approved I800A) for our dossier. I must say "Go WV" because I mailed out a stack of things to apostilled on Monday and had them back on Thursday. Guess there is not much more going on here. LOL!!! On Monday I will send CHI (our adoption agency) the ALMOST complete dossier for review so we can be one step closer to the list.
I am looking forward to celebrating life with my family over the holidays and trying not too hard to focus on things I cannot control.

Oh Happy Day!!!

2010-10-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

We have officially mailed our I-800A (Petition the US to adopt an orphan from a Hague convention country)!!! Charlie picked up our completed home study yesterday and we were ready this morning to get the show on the road. Words cannot express what a big step completed this is for us. We started this process in May and started working on our home study requirements in June. 5 months later it is complete! I am sure our social worker is glad to have us out of her hair too. Now we wait to get it back and then will be prepared to send in our dossier. It can take up to 90 days to complete the I-800A.
We also have a apostilled psychological report in our possession! Good news, the Labritzs' are sane! We choose a doctor who was familiar with Colombian adoption and she knew exactly what to do and how to do it. The report was finished in such speed that I was glad that was one less thing I had to worry about.
We have our introduction letter written and are working on making sure it is perfect. Also, our picture books are ready. I only hope they are not too long. How do you sum up the life these children will come to know in just a few pages of pictures?
Over the next couple of weeks I plan to have everything I can finished for our dossier so when the I-800A is finished we are ready to go.
We had a celebration at our house last night over the traditional Friday night pizza. I am finally feeling like the idea of enlarging our family through adoption is happening. We have been so engrossed with the paper chase that for the first time I felt we had a tangible accomplishment on this journey and not just an idea. We are really doing this and we are really excited about the path our family is taken. 3 years seems like a long wait, but I know how fast 3 years can go; Chase just turned 3. I am going to try to focus on living and not the wait. Life is just too good to spend on the wait.
Oh Happy Day!!!

A small bump in the road...

2010-10-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well still waiting on the home study to be officially finished. Apparently we have to now wait for a child abuse and neglect clearance for Charlie for the states of Pennsylvania and California since he had residence in both. We have done the ones for West Virginia, but forgot about the PA and CA ones. I expressed mailed both today, but it looks like CA can take 30 days. So yes, I am a little upset about this set back because I had wanted to have our dossier sent by the holidays. Now it looks like it will be sometime this winter. My ultimate hope is to be officially waiting by spring.
My heart goes out to all of the parents out there who have endured infertility and now are on this journey for adoption. Not a day goes by that I don't realize how blessed I am to have my beautiful boys to occupy my time on this journey. I feel such compassion to the many families trying to navigate through adoption. I pray that you have peace in the wait ahead.
Charlie and I were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful WV fall this weekend and it occurred to me how far we have come since our initial conversations about Colombia and adoption. It is amazing how fast time can go. I am so happy that I started this blog because it really does serve to remind me of how huge of a decision it was for us to expand in this way and how absolutely right it feels. Charlie and I spent a lot of time talking about how life changing our decision will be on not only our family, but all of our friends. The dynamic of family and friendships has already changed. I will say I have been pleasantly surprised by some responses and disappointed by others. We expected this and realize this journey was our decision and we welcome anyone who wants to enjoy the ride of our lives with us.

The original picture!

2010-10-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

This is the first family picture I posted and has now become outdated. This is from Anthony's 1st birthday party. The new picture is from Chase's 3rd birthday party. I plan on updating as needed as this journey will be long and my boys will continue to grow.

My boys!

2010-09-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

Chase and Anthony

Big shoes to fill!

Anthony

Brothers

4th of July

Chase

Anthony

Beach

Where does time go?

2010-09-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have not spent much time talking about my family. I originally started this blog to talk about my families journey to expand though a Colombian adoption. However, today is a very important day to me. My first born turned 3! Growing up birthdays were always such a celebration of life. The whole day revolves around the one whose birthday it is, but today is very different for me. Although today we celebrate Chase turning 3, I am also caught up in remembering the very day he was born. This was a very special day for Charlie and me because we became parents for the very first time. My memories are so vivid that I often wonder if they will fade with time. Today reminds me of birth mothers as well. Because as a mother I will never forget the moment Chase entered this world and I am sure all mothers will forever remember that moment.
I wonder how we will celebrate birthdays with our future children and if it will have just as much significance for me as Chase and Anthony's birthdays do? I find myself thinking of all that I take for granted having had two children of my own and how much of what I am used to will be turned upside down when our new children arrive. It feels like an eternity away, but so tangible at the same time.
My little boy is growing up and it happens so fast. I feel like as fast as I want this adoption process to go I want to remain with my little ones like this forever. Families are contantly evolving. It seems like yesterday when I was the newest addition on our family tree and now I am no longer the youngest generation, but moving up. With that comes saying goodbye to the oldest generation. Life is a mystery, but such a blessing.
Happy Birthday Chase!!!

Waiting

2010-09-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well all I can say is I am waiting to get our home study written and officially finished. I cannot believe how long this whole process takes and all I can think of is thank goodness we started it now and not when we wanted to bring more children home. My heart goes out to anyone waiting with no children to occupy your time. I can only imagine how much harder the wait would be. I am learning a whole new way to be on this adoption journey and a whole new way to have a family.
So as soon as we get the homestudy we will send away our I-800A form to petition the government to be able to adopt from a Hauge country. This process can take 3 plus months and then we send in our dossier to Colombia. I just hope we can officially be waiting for children by spring. Keep your fingers crossed that this journey runs smoothly!

Hague Training Finished!!!

2010-09-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

We have finished our Hague training, The Heart of the Matter Seminars. They were wonderful. I feel I have learned so much about children and raising them. I can truely say I feel more prepared than ever. Anybody anti Hauge I must say "Go Hague!" for making this part of the requirements. I can truely say I feel I am a better parent now since the begining of this process. We have changed a few things in our household that I feel are going to be hugely beneficial to the well being of our boys. The biggest is using "time ins" instead of "time outs." This is working wonders on both the boys. I really can't believe how many things we do because we are just used to how our society does it. We quite saying the term "good boy" and have replaced it with "good job" and "I am proud of you." I know it is all semantics, but important nonetheless. We are trying all of these new tecniques out and will see how it goes. For now I think it is good practice.

Home Study is coming to an end!!!

2010-08-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

We have officially finished our home study requirements! Now all we have to do is wait for it to all come together in the proper Hauge form. I had my individual meeting with our social worker last week. We talked alot about my life and how I got here. Like I have said before, for anyone wondering if we have lost our minds there are people out there making sure we are very much aware of what we are doing. I will be honest and admit that the idea of 2 more children is at times very overwhelming, especially when you have a 1 and a half year old and a almost 3 year old living with you. But reality quickly sets in and I realize there is a time frame to this process and we haven't even started waiting. The social worker did ask us if we would be interested in a domestic adoption if the right situation presented itself. As I have always said, I live life ready for any direction it may take. I embrace opportunity and feel I am guided spiritually with things which are meant to be. So my answer was yes, if the right children in America came available I would not look the other way. Things do happen for a reason and God always has a plan.
I have also been working on the Hauge approved training seminars, The Heart of the Matter, because they waited. They are absoulutly fantastic. I feel I have such a grasp on the issues which may arise when bringing home children who were previously in less than optimal care. The resources available are unbelievable. This is a whole new adventure for my family. I truely believe that I am becoming a better mother and even wife from this journey. I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have been able to bear children and marry a wonderful man, but am even more blessed that they are all willing to go on this journey with me. I feel God's hand has guided us to this point.

This is where we are in the process...

2010-08-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

We finished our child restraint class on Sat. It was geared more toward the foster family, but I guess I can use some of the techniques on my children if needed. This was the final class required for out home study.
So we are almost finished with our home study! This will be a big step! All we have left is our individual interviews and waiting for our social worker to get it writen up. Once it is finished we apply for the I-800A. From what I understand this is the application sent to the US goverment so we can be approved for international adoption. This process looks like it will take 3 months to complete. Once it is finished our dossier goes to Colombia. This can take another 3 months to get approved so we can start the wait. It is a very long process, but for our family that is OK. We need the time to prepare and Chase and Anthony need to grow up a little.
In the next couple of months we will be working on our 10 hours of Hauge approved training. This is all done online. We have started it already and it is a wealth of information. I just hope I can remember everything when we do get our children. We will also be working on pictures of our family to be sent to Colombia so the children will be able to see us. Finally, the most important document is our introduction letter. This is the only document written by us sent. Therefore, it needs to be a good one. I am starting to allow myself to think about this more. When I go to write it I want to be able to articulate everthing, but of course not send a book. Maybe I can just give them my blog and that will work. LOL!!!
As I have said in the past this is my process and I will embrace it! I am really loving this time in my life; raising my boys and looking forward to expanding my family!!!

We are under investigation!?!?

2010-08-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today was our first home study visit. I was very nervous waiting for our social worker to come. Our house got a very good cleaning before hand and I felt I just kept organizing everything and making sure all had a place. It turned out not too bad. Just a lot of questions about our family, lifestyle and the biggest, how we got to this point. As much as this process is long and hard I feel it is very much needed. The system, whatever that may be, makes damn sure you know what you are getting into. So I say to everyone out there who doesn't quite understand why we are doing this not to worry because there are people making sure we know why. I am starting to get excited about our growing family. Although I am not real sure where all of this is heading and when we will reach our destination I am sure this is the path I am meant to travel. I feel very fullfilled with this decision and look forward to the ride!

Homestudy is on!!!

2010-07-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

We finished our PRIDE classes last night and I must say they were very informative. I realize that although I have children, adopting children will be a whole new ball game. We have most of our homestudy documents complete which I feel was a huge victory on our part. Now we will start the official homestudy with interviews in our house. I suppose our lives will be thoughly investigated. Wild that anyone can have children, but to adopt every "i" must be dotted and "t" must be crossed. We are certainly on our way!

Still pushing forward.

2010-07-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

We are coming to the end of our PRIDE adoption classes and hopefully can start to move on with the homestudy. Our last few classes talked about a variety of things. First was disapline, some classes talking about the process in general. Some are more focused on foster care, which I can say for sure we do not want to do, but God Bless those who do! The disapline one was pretty funny since we were sharing how we disapline Chase and Anthony and the different ways a family chooses to do it. We have one more class next week that is a panel discussion. I am looking forward to getting more information and finishing this step in the process.
The boys had their medical exams and TB tests done this week and mine is scheduled for next week. Charlie is bringing in the rear on this one. I laugh because if you know Charlie you would know he would be late to his own funeral. However, we do have a goal to have almost all of our documents ready to go by Thursday so we can hand them all in.
In our classes we talked about others reactions to our news of adoption and I can say for sure that the majority have had a wonderful out pouring of love and acceptance. I realize that even if you would not do it yourself people are very open to our journey. So it continues.....

The word is out!

2010-07-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

Our parents and our siblings officially know about our journey! There is something freeing about being able to talk about it now. I have found that although most people could never imagine going down this path themselves they are supportive of our decision.
We have had a couple more PRIDE classes. They are very long, although we do get alittle something out of them, some are geared towards fostering and not adoption. I keep telling myself all of this is a means to an end. We have 2 more classes to go. But now we have to do child restraint course, giving medication course, and Charlie has to do CPR and first aid. I was lucky enough to have my certification already in that. When we are finished we have to start on the 10 hours of Hauge training. One step at a time and I will just keep checking it off of my list. I will say that international adoption is not for the unorganized person.
I had my yearly exam with the OBGYN today. I thought it was going to be difficult thinking it would bring back hard memories for me. I have become friends with my doctor since Anthony was born over a year ago. She is such a compassionate person and was and is deeply routed in our loss of the ability to bear more children. The visit today was a pleasant one. I recalled all of the wonderful people I encountered during my pregnancies and how they will forever be apart of my family growth experience. It felt good to tell the nurses and doctor about our plans today. I feel in a way it was healing for them too. Most of them knew we wanted a bigger family and I feel they grieved right along with us. So I will say it was a good day and I am happy to be able to share my journey with so many. Who knows maybe I will inspire others some day?

My cup runnith over...

2010-06-29T17:34:00.001-07:00

I have recently became a member of the Colombia Kids yahoo group with my adoption agency and for the first time feel as if I have a ton of people to relate too! This has been such a nice surprise to have such a support system out there and to find people who understand. I am so excited to now have people to ask questions to and not have to be the expert in this process. Today I feel that it has been reconfirmed that I am following the path that God intended for me. I am alive!

The paper chase is officially on!

2010-06-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

Lots is going on! I got back our certified birth certificates and marriage certificate. One step down, now they need apostilled. You may be wondering... what is apostilled? It is when a notarized or certified document is authenticated by the secretary of state. This is what most of our documents have to be before we send them to Colombia.
I also finished my autobiography and am hoping it will come out in hard back soon! LOL!!! Actually it was very time consuming and I am afraid not at all that interesting. They gave us an outline which made it pretty simple to do. I am just glad it is done. Charlie plans on finishing his this week sometime. I have been working on my Parent Self Evaluation, another one of the millions of forms we have to fill out. I am starting to think I only have so many ways to answer the same question.
Charlie and I went to another PRIDE class. This one was on strengthening family relationships and was geared towards foster care. It was pretty brutal to sit through, but we made it and hopefully the next few will be better. We have homework too with every class. I am beginning to feel like I am back in school.
Our references are busy writing the letters of recommendation. I am beginning to feel this is more and more real since more and more people know. There is so much more to do. My original hope was to have everything done within 6 months and be on the wait list by early next year. I will not know for sure how this will go since I don't have a real grasp on how long the homestudy will take, but I can say for sure this is getting exciting! I am alive and looking forward to my families future!!!

We are busy!

2010-06-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

We have been to 2 PRIDE classes already. The first one was about attachment disorders. It seemed to focus a little more on older children and foster care, but we definitely got some information about it. The second was about loss management. That was a good one. Helped us put into perspective the different kind of loses an adopted child will face in life. That class really had me looking at my own life and those around me and how they have dealt with the loses in their lives. As adoptive parents we have to be grief managers too throughout the children's lives. The classes are long and they definitely wear us out, but they are loaded with information. I feel like when this journey ends we will be going in with our eyes wide open!

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

2010-06-18T17:04:00.001-07:00

I love this verse! I keep reading it over and over again. It has inspired me. I feel I am being called. God always has a plan.

Are we crazy?

2010-06-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

One of Charlie's coworkers told him we were crazy to be adopting 2 more children from unknown backgrounds when we have happy healthy children of our own. Are we crazy? When I began this journey of starting a family I never saw it stopping at just 2. I just never realized our journey would take us to international adoption. Charlie and I have never been the type of people to do things that others tell us to do. We are instinctual and often live outside of the box. I feel this is what a truly fulfilling life is all about. Not living by other peoples norms, but making your own guidelines and traveling outside of them if life leads you that way. So my answer is a very adamant NO, we are not crazy!!!

Lots to do!!!

2010-06-13T10:32:00.001-07:00

We finished our first PRIDE training class on Thursday night. We started at 5 and ended at 9. WOW, what a long day! The session was about attachment disorders. Charlie and I both found it to very interesting and although we want to adopt children younger I am sure there will be some attachment difficulties at first. However, children bounce back very quickly, but nonetheless it was good for us to get some education on this. I know there will be lots of information to come in the future and we will be very prepared, but nothing takes the place a pure instinct when it comes to children. At least in my experience. I am busy trying to figure all of this paperwork out. It is very overwhelming! Notarizing, notarizing with a tail, apostilling. I need one copy for this and another copy for that. So much!!! I have been attempting to get myself organized with the process and making Charlie a to do list for his documents. I keep reminding myself that once this part is complete we will be officially waiting. It is a means to an end and if we want to get to the end we must complete this part first. When I first started looking into international adoption the paperwork honestly intimidated me a little. Once I realized if I take it one step at a time it will all come together. Reminds me of my journey to become a dentist. 8 years of college was very overwhelming, but one class and one year at I time I found myself at graduation. Funny how much our life experiences mimic what we are capable of. When I look back at the many journeys I have taken I realize that the desire to propel forward and explore my limits is what keeps me going. I feel alive!

The Homestudy?

2010-06-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

What is a homestudy? I am still not real sure, but what I do know is that it is a process with a social worker who comes into your home and evaluates every aspect of your life. Lots of paper work needs to be done, like financial statements, medical records, references, and so on and so on. The first step is a series of about 9 classes that talk about the issues which may arise when adopting. I know this because we found someone in Morgantown to do our homestudy. Apparently living in the great state of WV there are only 2 agencies that are Hauge accredited. This is the official accreditation needed for international adoption. I will go more into this at a later date. But we are lucky that one of the agencies is in Morgantown. The classes started last Thursday, but the agency was nice enough to let us into the classes now every Thursday from 6-9 for the next 8 weeks. We do have to try to make up the missed class, but at least we don't have to wait until September to start the classes which would put us many more months out. I know these next couple of months and the paper chasing trail will be tedious, but my heart is telling me that this is may path. I feel compelled to push forward. As I have always said, God has a plan. I try to live life as it happens and truly listen to my soul. I realize the more I put my faith in the higher power the more I am aligned. I look at my 2 beautiful boys, my amazingly supportive husband and everyone else in my life who stands next to me and I am overwhelmed my their love and commitment to me. This journey will leave us all a more enriched family. I feel I have been blessed with a leadership ability and I feel this is my calling to lead my family in this direction. I will say it again, I am not sure how this journey will end, but I know this is the journey I was meant to take.

Accepted!

2010-06-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

Our adoption agency called today to tell us that we are accepted into their program! Step one is officially accomplished. The director told me a little more about the process and WOW can it seem overwhelming. I am just going to take things one step at a time and keep pushing forward. It is hard to imagine a 3 plus year process now, but I am sure the time will fly by. Especially with Chase and Anthony keeping me busy. I can hardly believe we are really doing this. It is so exciting to imagine the future of our family. Charlie and I have been thinking of everything we want to get accomplished in the next 3 years to prepare. Finishing our basement is on our list. And of course learning to speak some Spanish. We will keep ourselves busy and enjoy all of the dreaming. One day this will all come to an end and I am sure I will remember this process and think it was just a small blip in life. Here we go!!!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

2010-05-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

The application is finished! Charlie put it in the mail today. We have officially started this journey into expanding our family. Words cannot express how excited I am for our adventure over the next couple of years. It is wild how a small idea in life can manifest into true action just by allowing yourself to speak up. I have always tried to be honest with how I was feeling inside. I have always pushed forward in life determined to make the most out of this precious life that we have. I am amazed that as a women when I look back at my life how these things have been so fulfilling to me. I once was scared of where I was heading afraid I didn't deserve this kind of happiness. I was always afraid that is would end in and instant and that I was never that lucky. But what I have realized is that we make our own lives. There is no such thing a luck. Life is what you make of it. You can dream a dream, but if you never have the guts to pursue it then you will never reach real happiness or true fulfillment. I say this because there were many moments where I felt I was crazy to even consider bringing home non-English speaking older children from a different country and from who knows what background. I am not crazy, but filled with a persistence that I know in my heart is my journey. And as I have said before, I am not sure where this journey will take me, but I hope it is to be a mother to those children who need one more than anything else in their life. That is the gift I have been called for!

Wow, we really are doing this!

2010-05-20T03:52:00.001-07:00

My mom is coming to visit this weekend. We plan to take the pictures that we need to send in with the application. 2 head shots of Charlie and I, 1 of the kids, 1 of the outside of the house, and 3 of the inside of the house. Luckily I took the outside pictures last weekend when it was beautiful out. I am not real sure how I am going to get a decent picture of the boys together, but I suppose we will try. I am hoping the agreement can get mailed out on Monday and our process can officially begin. Charlie and I talked about naming the children last night. It was a fun conversation, but we realized we were way ahead of ourselves. This is going to be a fun couple of years! We will have a lot to prepare for. Learning to speak at least a little Spanish will be key since that is the language of Colombia. I was always terrible with language so I am not so sure how this will go. I took many years in high school and in college. However, I seem to do better with things when I want to learn and don't have too. Spanish had nothing to do with me getting into dental school. I was much more into organic chemistry than Spanish. Anyways, I am bursting to talk to people, but realize this is way to early in the process to start talking. For now we will go about this journey peacefully and one day we will share. My hope is that by documenting this process it will someday serve as a deeper understanding of my perspective on our journey to expand our family.

Preparing for the Journey

2010-05-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend was filled with a lot of questions, what ifs, is this rights, and how will others react. I came to the conclusion that this is my family and my life and although this seems a bit out of the norm for the general public it is not out of the norm for me. I have always pushed through life and because of that tenacity I feel I have always traveled the path less occupied. Charlie and I spent a lot of time talking about the process this weekend. It has been somewhat consuming for me. BUT I feel inspired and alive. Bringing home children and loving them seems so rewarding to me. I always wanted a big family, but I can say for sure I never expected to take this route. God has a plan!!! I am going to try not to get too caught up in this process because I know it will be a long one. The decision to start the adoption has been filled with a lot of emotion. I pray that as the years follow that I will be comforted with peace. I find it hard to believe that one of the children I will mother someday and come to know as a son or a daughter is probably born already. That is a hard one to swallow. This is my process and I will embrace it!!!

The Decision?

2010-05-15T11:26:00.001-07:00

It has been over a year since my ability to have more children abruptly ended. Wow, how that can really change one's life. I spent the first part of the year trying to convince myself I was OK with what I have. Then one day I woke up and decided to start being honest with myself and my family, I wanted more children! At first I pursued gestational surrogacy, but ultimately came to the conclusion that that was just not right for Charlie and I. After many more months of searching and again trying to convince myself I was OK with the direction my life was heading, I started looking at international adoption. First it was China, but that just didn't feel right. Then I stumbled upon Colombia! Sibling adoption! So here we are, we have the information, we have the agency and all we have to do is sign and return the agreement to start our journey. As a couple we have many questions? I feel God has inspired me and for the first time in a long time I feel I now have a better view of the path I want my family's future to take. We want to adopt a sibling group age ranges 0-4 yrs old. This process can take up to 3 years once we are accepted by ICBF (aka Colombia). It can take about 6 months to get to that point. So if you are doing your calculations we may not get a referal until Chase is 6 and Anthony is 4 and 1/2. Now, the adoption lady I talked to told me I may not like the wait when the process gets going, but I assured her that that wait was just fine with us. This is why we are starting this process now and not later. So as of today the agreement has not been signed, but my hopes are that our journey will begin soon and with it will come many many more posts. I feel this journey needs to be documented for my future children's sake. Wish us luck!!!